i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A bitchslap is in order.
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