i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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