yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize