he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
