..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
