one might say we're banned from that church
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
