:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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