Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Terrible idea I love it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
