the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
