Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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