Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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