he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
honey bunches of taint.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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