I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Randomize
