Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
