I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
