I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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