And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
