my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
