I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
