you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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