Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I supernannyed him into submission
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
