dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
