I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
