You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
