I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
