We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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