If that was your dad, he is hot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
