Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
