i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
