Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
