I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
