In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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