How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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