I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
