Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
