Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
