Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
