? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
