worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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