Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So many bounce houses so little time
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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