I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
