He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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