FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
