i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
