I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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