we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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