how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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