return my video game
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
