we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
