eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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